Patience is an internal resource which can serve you well, if and when you learn how to trigger it.

Patience is, in fact, an emotion. It is not a very strong emotion, but it is long lasting and quite prominent and noticeable. Patience is the ability to keep your balance, your congruence and your focus, even if the world around you is trembling, and even worst – if someone else is out there trying to get you to lose your temper.

Patience is a virtue; it has been described by plenty of the world’s greatest thinkers and philosophers. The cold war was a war on patience. While many were sure that pressing a red button is the key to triumph, a few in key powers, luckily, thought and believed in patience. I can’t even imagine the amount of stress and fear they were been placed in; I’m sure they were, though.

Patience is achieved by using one of the most common NLP tools available. Actually, it is not even a tool, but a description of a chosen perspective. But for this outcome, of developing and keeping patience, we will call it a tool.

That NLP tool is dissociation. Dissociation is easy to work with, and even in the most extreme cases, it is all you need to be patient.

Sometimes I use dissociation as an immediate stress relief, for myself and for others. Dissociation detach you from physical pain (best examples are in dental hypnosis) and from emotional pain.

At most times, I use dissociation to be able to in the moment, to be able to not get upset, not get angry, not feel hurt, not react, not operate from psychological self defenses, not get out of balance, not lose my focus on my outcome(s), and not fall out of congruency not fall in the trap.

I don’t use it every time, of course. Every choice you make should (and even must) be done appropriately to the context. The situation you’re in, the people you’re surrounded with, the history you share with those people and with that location, your memories from the past, your plans for the future and your available resources in the present, are your guidelines for using dissociation or letting your inner bully step out and defend the personal boundaries that help you survive.

Use your intuition. And most of all use your curiosity. What if you’re not careful and do not dissociate while in this context, what happens next? So what if there are consequences? Life is not a satisfaction guaranteed journey you make mistakes, you hurt others, you apologize, you move

Then, of course, comes the other end – what if you are patient at this moment in context? What if you would not be passive but also not react out of fear or anger? What if you had the choice to speak back with Sir Anthony Hopkins tone of voice, slow and low, with well crafted words? What kind of a response would you expect to get? What if you could chose the same strategy no matter what kind of a response you get next

So now, after you know this little secret, here’s a question for you:

Got patience?

source: nlpweekly

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